THE WANKING JUNKIE

Dear aunt Bee, 
Am addicted to wanking (you know.. taking matters into my own hands... literally). I do it everyday in the bathroom while showering (Geisha lasts as long as a mother's love). The conditioned reflex is so serious that whenever I look at my open right hand palm, I automatically get a hard-on. Please help me stop it. 

yours, 

Soap- struck


Dear Soap-struck,
Excuse Aunt Bee for a sec while she laughs.

BWAAA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Ok.

Now, They say that if it is you hand that will cause you to sin (and prevent you from reaching heaven) then cut it off. Youre not exactly sinning but your addiction is harmful to your health.

You could be in an important meeting making a presentation and youre demonstratig something with your hands then you see you very open right hand palm then u get a monstrous erection. The meeting will be very uncomfortable from then on. SO I have to help you fast.

Here are possible solutions.
1) Cut off your right hand.I mean, its better than cutting off your mean machine like some lunje dude did!!
2) Tatoo something really nasty on that palm.Something that turns you off completely.Then when u look at it, hautasimamisha (you wont get a hard-on)
3) Shower without soap and with very cold (or very hot) water to reduce the time you spend in the bathroom.
4) Use the methodology i gave to Mukovero and Joe to get yourself a girlfriend. 


Yours truly,


Aunt Bee