VARIETY

Hey Aunt Bee,

I have a big problem in that I am a young jamaa but chicks my age rarely turn me on as much as women in their thirties and forties. I really enjoy humping these mamaaz and I have no idea why. Is it cos they are bigger and softer? Saaaaaaaaaaidia tafadhali.

Toyboy.

Dear Toyboy, 

Hmm, I must confess I love younger guys!! They've got so much stamina, its like they have generators tied to their waists!! You dont really have a problem dear, same age sex is boring. Im in my (very) early 30's and men my age are too busy trying to make their first million. Older men dont have much biashara going on down there, theyre either already spent, or going through midlife crisis thus running after sweet 16's. But younger (especially college) guys! Now those I like!! But the mature, focussed ones who will keep it simple, no strings attached, and no for 'falling in love'. Just pure, raw, wild, crazy, banging sex! And of course you have a point about the padding, its always nice to have a soft landing. So fuck easy. 


Dear Aunt Bee,

I have this obsession with short girls. Every time I see a shortie I get HARD.. really HARD!! Then when it comes to zegz, I just cant get enough coz the styles we can use are limitless. Is this normal? Will I have to marry a short chic, coz am very tall


Baby Boy


Dear Baby Boy,

Men have different tastes and fetishes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being short sighted, you can actually live with that. One major advantage of having a shortie is that she doesn't have to bend or kneel to go down on you.  And you can enjoy the view while standing.  She is also very portable and you can do her in a Vitz even. I think her G-spot should be nearer and easier to find than a tall chic's. She is very easy to hide in case you get an unexpected and potentially violent visitor, you can quickly shove her under the bed, hide her in the closet (Im sure Jimi Gathu would LOVE the company!!), hide her in your boxers or disguise her as a pillow and lay your head on her. I think you would do fine to marry a short chic! Please invite Aunt Bee to the wedding, she looooves cake!!


Aunt Bee

BEDMINTON

Dear Aunt Bee,
I have been having a problem with my bed auntie, aki it swings hitting the wall kama vita. It makes my exit (from my own house) kila morning be a walk of shame before my neighbors. Nimetry zote, chuma na mbao. Is it fair if i called matendechere na smiti yake to come and make us ya mawe? would that be fare to nature? or should i watch my weight? am i fat? i know i’m my own solution but being the aunt you are, saidia.


Ama-eyes


Dear Ama-eyes, 
Aunt Bee would really like to know what youve been doing on that bed!! Not only are you fat but youve been very very naughty!! Aunt Bee doesnt know a lot of physics (or is it carpentry?) but she knows that a bed doesnt just start swinging on its own!! I would advise that you switch from missionary and try a variety of other positions that will not put pressure on the bed. Try doing it standing against the wall or bending  shaggerifically. You can jump into the shower or do it in the kitchen (assuming you dont live in a one roomed house where the kitchen is the living room and the bedroom and the bathroom is outside) You can get a khamasutra handbook  for further assistance or try the brand new positions like "undertaker" or "tombstone" Another trend that is fast catching on and that you could try is doing it outdoors. Instead of stressing your bed, you could do it on a bench, in the cemetry, in a forest, by the river, or besides a waterfall (now that is something!! ask Aunt Bee! ;-) ). Just think outside the bed. Be out-going. Be adventurous. You will not only add oooh-mph to your sex life, but you will save on costs, and that wont be such a bad thing seeing as the cost of living has gone up you will need that money to buy other things like vaseline on those days. Let me know how it goes! 


Yours truly, Aunt Bee